hhmmm....

ok, so ganito. nalilito nanaman ako. nagulat ako sa sinabi niya. marahil, naive lang talaga ako. that or, as usual i am in utter denial. ewan.

i want to think that things will be alright between us. i mean, hindi naman masagwa yung nangyari sa amin. kumpara sa ibang nangyari sa aking mala-telenovelang love life, that is... it's just that i feel that im not ready for him and therefore, lolokohin ko lang sha kung sasabihin ko sa kanya na, oo mahal ko rin sha. kasi yun ang point. i can't be with someone i just like and don't love. sure, if i were still in high school and i didn't know any better, i would be with him now. but im not in high school anymore and things have drastically changed since then. at ayaw ko na ng mga relasyon na wala namang basehan. at kung meron, ang basehan nito ay puros kasinungalingan.

ayon nga sa Queer as Folk...

"love is just an excuse straight people give to get laid. and they end up hurting each other because the relationship was based on lies, to begin with."

iniisip ko tuloy. baka naman sinabi lang niya yun to get in my pants. putang inang yan. im sorry, i just can't help but be suspiscious. ewan.

*breathe...

oh well...ano pa nga ba magagawa ko? tapos na e. well, all i can do now is hope that he will be alright. doesn't matter now, if we will ever be friends again. what matters to me is he will get over whatever i unconsciously and consciously inflicted upon him. and yes, i miss him like hell.

punyetaaaaa....

/sobs