mass hysteria

im so fucking tired. of every step i took to lead to this place. i don't know what i want anymore. and today, i don't give a flying fuck anymore. once again, my plans have been blown up into oblivion. but hey, what am i complaining about anyway? given that a. my plans weren't perfect and b. i've messed up other people's plans before and i expected them to live with it.


o god.



anyways, i think i should stay away from this whole transparency thing. i hate hiding things from people i care about...but there are some things that are best kept from them. goldfishy, you know what i mean.



*nervous laughter



i hope it'll be alright. and i hope i can get away and fix my life asap. because being like this isn't exactly helping anyone at all. and im not about to stay in this place of helplesness.i am not a little helpless girl, at times i seem to be...but im not.