relationship blues

i've always been a free spirit. i go where i want to, when i want to. for some people, it may appear like i am a selfish brat. however, that is not the case. i have learned to pay for my mistakes, clean up my own shit and basically bite the bullet when need be. i have been like this for so long that i've somewhat developed my own kind of independence. i was raised to think for myself, to demand what is due me and take care of myself. am not used to being monitored, being told to go home at certain hour, being reminded to eat, etc, etc.

for me to get used to those things, i really do have to go through a life-changing turn around.

am not used to this.

character c is invading my space. contrary to popular belief, i am a private person. i control what i say to other people. i believe in projecting an image and how it is separate from my core being. it's not an issue of not being true to yourself. i was just brought up having a very clear sense of my public and personal life. it's not really a bad thing, is it?

i have to admit it. i'm really, really, really uncomfortable with the idea of character c keeping tabs on me. i feel like am talking to my dad, only worse. when my parents want to know where i am and if i'm even coming home, i get 3 questions maximum. character c just goes on and on. i know that he's the worry wart type and the jealous type but please. can't he just trust me and stop asking me where i am every 5 goddammed minutes? is just irritating and i feel like my own private space is being invaded.

i just don't get it.

for one thing, i don't blow my top when he fails to text me on time or at all. i take it as a fact of life. sure i worry but hey, shit happens. it's not a case of life and death at all. that's not it at all. but the way he blew his top last night, it felt as if i'd done something monumentally hurtful or deceitful or something of the same manner.

and all i did was not text him that i was home.

if he was so worried, i could have just called me at home.

goddammit. i need my space.