the aftermath, once more

fine. so now, that small part of the population of this country who have the right to know about us DO know about us...to a certain extent. but i hope it never comes to the point wherein the most intimate details of my relationship with character C will have to be examined.

i was very frustrated with him for saying things he shouldn't have said AND recounting things that DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING HAPPEN. what will he say next? that we slept together? god. at the rate he's going, i don't think i'll still wait around to see what happens next. in my opinion: TANG INA MO, WALA KA NA BABALIKAN!

hay. =c

~*~
i know for a fact that what happened was wrong. i will not go on and justify what happened. but for the fucking love of god...can't he just stick to what we agreed we'd say?! i know that people are pressuring him to spill the beans. but people around us are pressuring me too. but do i spill my beans? no. do i say something outside what was agreed? no. jesusfuckinglord. it's a simple statement. a simple fucking statement confirming what HAS happened and denying what can both get us into deeper shit than we can possibly handle. my god. doesn't he have any brain cells left in him? given that i've long acknowledged that he has little to no spine, but brain cells too? and he wants to be a fucking doctor? jesus h. christ.

~*~
breathe.

~*~
i don't want to be mad at him. i don't want to be bitter. i don't want to be any of these things because i brought this upon myself. and sometimes, i delude myself into thinking that despite everything that has happened; i love him. that's the only logical explanation to my putting up with all of this. this whole thing has taken a toll on me. and i do, i do want this to end.

still, he keeps me hanging. hay.

~*~
and before i forget. i remember your flight today, daddy.