this is it

i feel like shit.

thank you love for messing up my life again...how many times do you have to do this before i learn that you bring pain with you? how many times do you have to pulvurize my soul before i realize that i should run away each and every time that you rear you beautiful (too beautiful) head?

putang inang buhay 'to.

ang hirap pala maging tanga, forgiving and a friend all at the same time.

of course, ngayon ko lang na-realize na ganun pala ako.

tanga nga e.

nasaktan nanaman ako...at alam ko na walang ibang may kasalanan kundi ako...ako lang ang may kasalanan sa lahat..sa lahat lahat.

if i didn't choose jason four years ago, i'd probably be with aree. or joseph. but nooo...i just had to choose him over other more reasonable choices.

AND NOW....

im trying to choose him over someone.

the difference: i don't think i love him enough to trust him again.

timo, please don't feel bad about this. this shouldn't be you problem. it's my burden.

i should start picking up the pieces RIGHT now. i should tell myself over and over again that im going to be alright...till i believe the lie myself.

ayan e.

im not bitter..just in pain.