Lunes, Enero 31

putang ina

before i start ranting, i want to apologize in advance to YOU. this isn't about YOU.

thank you.

putang ina mo jason. i hate you today. i thought you wanted to work things out. i thought you wanted to get on with everything...including the wedding. pero putang ina! hindi ka naman tumawag. hindi ka nagpasabi kung bakit hindi ka makakatawag. anong akala mo? jason, i was willing to go back to you. i was willing to risk my happiness for you. and this is what you do. salamat ha. salamat dahil four the past four, fucking four years ikaw ang naging dahilan ng halos lahat ng depression na naranasan ko. linoloko ko ang sarili ko kung sasabihin ko na "it's alright, i understand". dahil putang ina, i don't understand. and no matter how i try, i can't get myself to see why you're being such an asshole. face it dear, you are a major asshole. more than most of the assholes i've encountered my whole life. and i have met a lot. (paging ren! paging joseph and let's not forget...paging JR!)

pero eto na e.

ngayon lang nagsisink-in sa akin na mag-isa na ako. mag-isa na ako bigla. takte, dumarating din pala ang point na ganito? akalain mo. hahaha.

kaya ko 'to. kahit mag-isa ako.

*chants romans 8:28*

Lord, im not really sure why all of these crap is happening. pero i know that even though i think my plans are best, you plans are PERFECT. and im sorry Lord for all the rage and cursing aforementioned. i just needed to get this out. anyways Lord, i know that you will never ever give me something i cannot handle. and if i trust in You, everything will turn out right. i believe this is so. and all im asking is for You to send me people to keep me sane for the next couple of days. focus your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of your faith. who for the joy set before Him, denied heaven, took up the cross so that you might be saved.

galatians says: tish, FORGIVE OTHERS AS CHRIST HAS FORGIVEN YOU.

*there i feel better.

4 (na) komento:

Hindi-nagpakilala ayon kay ...

tisha...why are you doing this?

are you alright?

im sorry i found your blog by accident.

-r

tish ayon kay ...

then stay out of it.

i know who you are.

Hindi-nagpakilala ayon kay ...

i hope u know that nothing has changed.

fine, jason hurt you...but what about me? what did i do to u for you to push me away?

tang ina tish, i just don't get it.

what do you see in them that you don't see in me?

and after all this time...i still love you.

-r

tish ayon kay ...

you're lucky that im always online..and i can reply almost instantaneously.

c'mon. don't do drama on me. i have to keep on living. you were a good boy friend. and one of my best friends. truth be told, i probably loved you the most...over all...

biased ka lang kasi war kayo ni jason...hehe..

c'mon dear...we had good times, let's leave it at that.