100

i was so goddamned drunk last night, character c had to pick me up. i was really, really stark raving drunk. he really, really had to take care of me then. he had to rock me to sleep, clothe me and put me to bed. i was so bloody out of it last night that i couldn't even count.

weekend gave me some points of clarity.

1. i do, i do love character c.
2. he keeps on choosing character b, goddamned it.
3. if he doesn't give me a straight answer by the next weekend, i will fucking whoop his ass.
4. i want to be with him but i won't lower my pride.
5. he won't lower his pride either.

this is going nowhere. this is going absolutely nowhere.

~*~
yesterday morning, he was here. he now holds the distinction of being the only boy that i took into my own bed. i've never brought anyone into my room, let alone have some guy naked on my bed. but now he owns the distinction as my first.