Miyerkules, Mayo 21

past the point of no return

i was with character c again this evening. it's past one in the morning now and i just got home. we spent time together alone for most of (last) the night despite the fact the a great person from our group passed away earlier in the day.

yesterday (monday), i defended my bloody thesis. i have to say i did this quite well for someone who barely had time to prepare and make the said paper. character c brought me food when i got home. it was some kind chinese bread thingy that he had to go all over binondo to find. it was sweet. he didn't even stay for more than ten minutes.

i have noticed some changes with the way character c acts around me.

first, he is getting into the habit of carrying me around. he carries me around (in private of course) for the most mundane reasons. when he wants me to move over, instead of telling me he just takes me in his arms. if we're supposed to go to another part of the room together, he doesn't wait for me to get up; he just carries me. and sometimes, he carries me for no reason at all.

second, he has taken the habit of burrowing his face into my breasts, neck or whatever body part is nearest to him.

third, he likes rocking me back and forth now and saying "baby".

fourth, he doesn't pull back first when we hug anymore.

and lastly, he also has gotten into the habit of giving me little kisses on the forehead and on my nose.


tonight was experiment night. some things, i've never done before. monday night, he was asking me about my weaknesses and such. then he asked me:

"kung manliligaw ba ako sa iyo, matatagalan ba bago mo ako sagutin?"


there have been some questions in my head, of course. if i go through with this, that is if character c leaves character b... am i willing to go through a change of lifestyle for this relationship? am i really willing to relocate to another country just to make sure we have all the chances to make it work?

am still not sure.

i've never really gone that far for one relationship. but then again, am older now with an actual chance to be able to relocate. but still. im not really sure of i should do this.

he's leaving soon and i'll know by then what i have to do. if he chooses me, then i definitely have to find a way to justify moving to singapore before the year ends.

'course im scared. who wouldn't be?

but he makes me oh so happy. :D

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